Cultivate It

Happy Monday!  I hope you had a wonderful weekend!  This weekend in Charlottesville was the Foxfield races, which is basically my most favorite day of the year. I mean, what could be better than dressing up in a sundress, heading to a horse race, and drinking mimosas all day?  It was delightful!

You may recall last week, I wrote a post about making comparisons and I used an herb garden and young, fast, skinny runners to make my point.  As the days have gone on, I've been thinking a lot about being envious and consumed by comparisons.  Jealousy is something I really struggle with--not only do I envy herbs and athletic ability, but I also envy clothes, beautifully decorated homes, life seasons, and even other people's faith...yes, their faith. 

I know that we are all beyond loved by God, but sometimes I talk to my friends and they just seem so plugged in and connected to God and I just think, "I want that..." 

As I've continued to think, dream, and envy my friend's herb garden, something that has struck me is that she has actually taken the time to cultivate and nurture her garden.  Me?  My herbs are lucky if they get watered once every two weeks. 

Abby planted, fertilized, and watered.  She even owns her own watering can!  And when she went out of town, she didn't just leave them alone, but she made arrangements to have someone come take care of them to ensure they would continue to thrive in her absence.  Abby's herbs are beautiful because she made an effort to make them beautiful.

My herbs don't make it, because I just plant them and hope for the best...not taking the time to take care of them.

The same can be said for running...running is a process that you have to maintain.  There have been a few times in my life where running came easily, but it was when I was running 3-4 times a week.  The minute I stop, it gets tough again.  So how can I envy people who have been running their entire lives and actually put the time into it?

I think this can also apply to our faiths.  Make no mistake, no matter what we do, there is nothing we can do to earn our salvation or God's love, but like any relationship, I think on a day-to-day basis, you get out what you put into it.  I have a friend that I so admire because all she wants is more of God—she reads, she journals, she prays, and she is fully aware of where and how God is moving throughout her day in both her professional life and her personal life.

As her friend, I've seen God do some pretty unbelievable things, and I've been in awe at how near and personal our God truly is.  And as much as I've LOVED watching my friend embark on this journey, sometimes I think, "God, I want that too..." Like a middle sister jealous of the beautiful, successful older one.

It's a dangerous trap to begin to compare our faiths to other people, and one that, though I easily fall into, needs to be avoided.  God is real and personal to each of us in different ways, it's certainly not something we should allow to consume us. 

BUT, rather than be envious, I think it's okay to admire someone's faith.  Just like in any relationship, she's putting the time into her relationship with God to strengthen, deepen it, and grow it.  She's investing, sharing, listening, and serving and God is responding.

Here's a thought, rather than sit at home moping about what I think I'm lacking, why don't I harness my envying energy and actually do something?  Like cultivate my own relationship or water my plants?!  What a novel idea!

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

Psalm 9:10

  

Friday Favorites!

Image via Pinterest

Happy Friday!  I hope you've had a fabulous week!  Here are a few of my favorite links from the week:

I loved this post from Katherine Wolf on steps to handling the unnecessary and unwelcomed stress of a horrible-no-good-very-bad-day.

This NPR story on "The Defining Decade" that is our 20s featuring UVA professor, Meg Jay was SO interesting.

And I recently stumbled upon one Maine family's goal of having 52 weekly dinners with a different member of their community while their father is away on a year-long deployment to help fill his empty seat at the table.  The mother writes about it weekly here.  I was particularly struck by this article when she writes, "Community matters more than any "reason" not to invite someone to dinner."  As one who always finds excuses...my house is too messy, we don't have any food in the house, there's never a good time...I really appreciated it.

AND Sophia Grace & Rosie are back in America this week!  Is it just me, or are these girls not the cutest?  They make me happy!

Happy weekend!

Green Thumb & Green With Envy

Image via Pinterest

Is it just me, or is it sometimes so hard not to compare yourself to everyone else?  I apologize if I sound like a broken record at times, but man, it's definitely something I struggle with—in the big things and even in the little things. 

Yesterday, I walked down the street to water my sweet neighbors plants while she's away and I was envious of her beautiful, thriving herbs—she had basil, she had mint, she had rosemary, and she had thyme—all just as lush and fruitful as they could be.  As for my garden?  While I do have some thyme and rosemary that have survived three moves, I've never been able to keep basil or mint for longer than two weeks.  Are you hearing me?  I was jealous of herbs.  Seriously?! 

Later, I went on a super quick run and decided to run around UVA...big mistake.  Neely and I trudged along while we kept getting passed by these young, beautiful, skinny girls.  If we were in the wild, they would be the swift, beautiful gazelles, while I would play the Hippo who waddles along behind.  Note to self: stick to your less traveled neighborhood route next time!  You will never be a 20-year-old former cross country star.

I know that I could fill this post up with Bible verses about how God loves us just the way we are and He is only concerned about our hearts, but sometimes even when the Truth is staring you in the face, my eyes only see where I'm lacking or falling short—in big ways, or in something as insignificant as an herb garden.

And so I don't really have a bow to wrap this post up today, I guess I'm back to looking and learning and praying for a content heart who KNOWS that God is Sufficient.  One ready and eager to give "my best" to my season and responsibilities and not constantly compare myself to "the best" in others.  And rather than envy the gifts and talents in others, I'm praying for a heart that can truly celebrate and appreciate them.  You can be certain that I will be borrowing some mint and basil from my friend and I will rejoice and enjoy her beautiful and blessed green thumb.

Looking Back

Most days I dread getting the mail.  I mean, it's just filled with bills that I don't want to pay and junk mail I don't want to open.  But every once in a while, something catches my eye and it's not only my monthly Birchbox.  Yesterday, I opened up an envelope addressed by my mother and found this:

Isn't that adorable?  And yes, that's a kiss mark up above.  I can't say I remember writing this, but I have a pretty good idea who it was for—my first love who smooched me under the basketball hoop by his house when I was five.  

It was so fun holding something from my five-year-old self.  As a five-year-old, I was large and in charge.  I loved being the boss and once told my mom that I wanted to grow up and be a "waitress and a manager."   And I also loved having three younger siblings who would believe anything I told them and do anything I said...the minute I discovered that, my life became MUCH more fun!

So, yesterday, I thought about what I would say if I were to meet that determined, loud, and often annoying five-year-old Elizabeth.  Most of it were things my mom told me, kind of like my own "Stuff" my Mom Says, but I just wasn't ready to listen:

• I'm sorry your mom made you have a horrible boy cut while your older sister gets to have long hair...don't worry, it will grow out.  And while you might not like your red hair, I promise you will grow to appreciate it.

• You're right, Whitney Houston and Wilson Phillips will never be topped.  Always remember to "Hold on for one more day"

• Even though you think you can now, you will NEVER be able to tan.  Embrace sunscreen and floppy hats for they are your friends.  

• Your mom was right...calling boys from sleepovers makes you look desperate and annoying.

• And speaking of boys, it's quite alright to let them do all the asking.

But beyond the essentials in life: hair, skincare, pop music, and boys, what would I tell her about faith?  I'm definitely no expert, but there are a few truths I would impart on my five-year-old self, or at least write them in a letter for her to read when she's 15:

• You're probably not going to grace the stage at the Oscars and that's okay, God still has a perfect and beautiful plan for you.

• There will be times when you feel lonely, abandoned and utterly alone, but I assure you, you are not.  Even in the loneliest of times, God will not leave you.  No, not ever! 

• There may be times where you can't "feel" God, but don't give up, He has not and He will not leave you.

• You will face seasons where your heart is hurting and you don't feel loved, and in those times, I pray that you will know and believe that you are loved with an everlasting love and His love is infinite and it is perfect.  

• Life isn't going to always work out the way you planned, but it's going to be okay.  God's plans far exceed any plans we could make for ourselves.  

•  When it comes to love, believe it or not, God is the God of romance—you can put your heart in His hands and trust Him to take care of you.

• And you will face plenty of times in your life where you feel like a failure and you let God down, but always remember that God's grace is infinite and there's nothing you can do that will separate you from his love. 

What would you tell your five-year-old self?  

    

Don't Save Your Best For Later

It's no secret, I'm LOVING Priscilla Shirer's book The Resolution for Women.  So much, that I'm inching along because I truly don't want it to end.  Priscilla gets women--our struggles, our strengths, and what tugs and pulls on our heartstrings.  She also gets the Bible and knows how to make scriptures we may have heard 1,000 times before come to life in a new and fresh way.

So this morning, when I read "Therefore, whatever you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for God's glory" (1 Corinthians 10:31).  Initially I thought, "I've heard this before..."

But she goes on to talk about how often, we women are so determined to do 1,000 things rather than choosing 1 or 2 to wholly and completely devote to God.  "When you choose to do everything, you can't do anything well.  But, when honoring God is your focus, it pares down your purpose and narrows your focus."  


She continues to say that we can't save our best for later—waiting for the "perfect season" when we can really give God everything.  "Nothing in God's eyes is too menial to be worthy of our wholehearted devotion."


She then goes on to talk about one of my most favorite life lessons—living in the "now" moment.  It's so easy to put things off and delay our best for the next season of life.  In my own home, I often tell myself, that once I have kids, then I'll really take the time to bring order and peace into my home...are you kidding me? Is that not the WORST logic ever?!  I need to get that under control now, because moms, tell me if I'm wrong, but I don't think those babies are going to help bring order and peace into my home.

I LOVE what Priscilla writes below:

"Don't save your best for later.


Don't wait to finish school, reserving your best work for whenever you land a real job that's actually taking you somewhere.  Don't wait until you're married when the things you do will feel more like they're contributing to building a home and a life.  Don't wait until you start a family, thinking you'll be more inspired to give your best when you have children to invest in.  Don't wait until your kids leave the nest, biding your time until you're freer to pour yourself into the next challenge....


Don't wait for another time, another set of circumstances, another accomplishment, or another pay raise before flinging the full weight of your potential into the mix—even if you're not entirely happy with how your life looks right now...Bring your best—all your gifts, skills, talents, and abilities to the task at hand—in this moment, for His glory."  


Friends, let's not be women who wait and try to save our best for later, but whatever we do, no matter how big and glamorous or how small or menial, let's do it all for God's glory.

All Whipped Up

Image from PlanetGreenDiscovery

Happy Monday!  I hope you had a fabulous weekend.  I pretty much holed up in our little tree house and stayed put...it was simply delightful. 

Yesterday morning I found myself making eggs benedict and meringues.  It might seem like an extremely odd pairing, but to make the hollandaise sauce, you need egg yolks, so if you want to be super resourceful, you can add a side of meringues to make use of your extra egg whites. 

The science of cooking sometimes baffles me...who figured out how to separate egg whites and egg yolks?  Who decided to whip egg whites hard enough and long enough to discover they could form very stiff, hard peaks?  I don't know who they were, but I'm thankful to our culinary explorers who have paved the way. 

I'm not sure if you've ever made hollandaise or meringues, but each one takes a lot of patience and a lot of whipping.  With each endeavor, I stood there looking in the bowl, wondering if this was actually going to work out.  What I had in front of me was a liquidy mess--could it really turn into a rich sauce to dress our egg with, or a thick, delicious consistency to make meringues?  With each endeavor I grew doubtful.

But as I whipped and waited and watched, I saw how little-by-little, things began to turn.  And after a while, I had successfully created hollandaise sauce and meringues.

Image from A Cozy Kitchen

During the process, as I continued to inspect my liquids, I couldn't help but see my life as the egg whites and sugar being spun around by a Master whisk.  At times, things may take longer than I expect; I question my purpose; and rather than order, I only see chaos; but just like my egg whites, all hope is not lost.  They were made and intended for a purpose and so was I.    

When we hand our lives over to God, we can trust that He has a plan.  When we allow Him to be the one to mix and shape us, we can be assured that He will accomplish the plans He has for us.  And the end result will be something beautiful and deliciously perfect.      

Image from Sugar Laws

You are our Father;
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all we are the work of Your hand.

Isaiah 64:8 

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands.

Psalm 138:8

Friday Favorites!

Happy Friday friends!  I don't know about you, but I am SO ready for the weekend!  A few favorites to carry you into the weekend:

Our sweet niece, Louisa turned 3 this week!  Her fabulous Aunt Elizabeth & Uncle Bubba gave her some fairy princess dress-up clothes, including pink princess hair.  Doesn't the Birthday Princess look fabulous?

My niece Lousia turns 3!

Two people sent me this op-ed on living together before marriage written by UVA clinical psychologist, Meg Jay, that I thought was really interesting.  Check it out here. 

By way of Nina's blog, I stumbled upon this great post by Rachel Held Evans: "In Praise of My Unspectacular Pre-Pinterest Wedding."

Moms of little ones, I think you'll appreciate this post my mom did on seeing through the fog of motherhood.

And have ya'll been watching American Idol?  I typically like to pop in towards the end in time for hometown dates which make me melt into a puddle of tears, but I caught the top 7 this week with my parents and I LOVED this rendition of Born This Way:
(Email Subscribers click here)

Forgiveness Part 2

Kelly Clarkson--inspiring post-break-up women everywhere since 2002

Yesterday, I began to share a few thoughts on unforgiveness and today I thought I'd share a little bit about dealing with unforgiveness when it comes to guys.

Ladies, here's the thing: it is SO easy to harbor bitterness and unforgiveness towards boys, because, let's face it, they do so many stupid things.  And after that, it's difficult to move forward and we end up loving to hate them.

When it comes to boys, it's easy to put ourselves in positions where we're vulnerable and exposed, so if/when the hurting comes, it feels raw, deep, and incredibly painful, making forgiveness beyond difficult.

I had one relationship, in particular, where even after it ended, I struggled for an extremely long time to let go of the unforgiveness in my heart.  Years later,  I have a much better understanding of the situation, but at the time, my little twenty-something heart felt as though I had been robbed, manipulated, and strung along for years.  I had expectations for where I thought things were going and when it didn't work out the way I always thought it would, I was hurt, sad, and so mad that I had wasted so many years of my heart on a stupid boy.  In my mind he had gotten "the best years of my life" although little did I know, thankfully, those "best years" had yet to be lived...

Anyways, once things ended, surprisingly, it didn't take long for my romantic feelings to end as well.  But what I found was that my massive infatuation quickly evolved into hatred, resentment, and unforgiveness.  My heart was hard and bitter and angry break-up songs like "Since You've Been Gone," "You Oughta Know," and my favorite, Mariah Carey's "Someday," were my new best friends.

He even apologized to me and I looked him in the eyes and told him that I had forgiven him, but deep down, I think we both knew that I was lying.   

Two years later (yes, I'm beyond embarrassed this little story has to last two years), I was at a women's retreat in Williamsburg.  I don't remember anything the speaker said, except on the first night she told the story of learning that her husband of over twenty years had cheated on her.  Talk about betrayal!  But rather than scream, seek revenge upon his mistress, or shred all of his clothes to tiny pieces, she said the first thing she did was she knelt by her bed and prayed, "Lord, I want to forgive my husband.  I pray right now that the unforgiveness and hatred I feel will not take root in my heart.  I forgive him."

 Are you kidding me?!  I truly couldn't believe it.

I remember sitting towards the back of the room, so struck by her desperation to instantly forgive, before it had time to take root in her heart.  I sat there thinking, "This woman was ready and willing to forgive her husband, the one who vowed that he would love her and be faithful to her alone, the one who cheated on her, the one who was walking out on her, and I can't even forgive and let go of stupid, petty boy problems from two years ago?"

I knew it was time to let it go.

My unforgiveness was only hurting myself, and it was holding me back, when I knew it was time to move forward.  About a week later, he came over and I looked him in the eye and I said something like, "Okay, so, I know this was a while ago, and I've been over you for a long time (my insecure heart just had to throw that in there), but when I told you I forgave you, I was lying.  Deep down, I have hated you for two years, but I'm finally in a place where I'm ready to forgive you, and this time I mean it."

Similar to yesterday, when he left, I felt the weight of this burden, I had been carrying around for years FINALLY be lifted off of my heart.  I was free!  And I truly meant what I said.

Months later, I found myself at a bar with another girl who had been hurt by him as well.  As we continued to talk, all she wanted to do was complain about this stupid boy and band together because we had both been so wronged.  Before I had forgiven, I'm sure I would have been more than happy to exchange stories, and moan and wail about how horrible he was as the drinks kept flowing.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good boy-bashing session as much as the next girl, but when it came to this relationship,  somewhat to my shock, I realized that I wasn't that girl anymore.

I remember being able to get a glimpse of what it looked like to still hold onto the hurt and bitterness, and I felt incredibly relieved to know that I finally wasn't in that place.  I was free!  Thank you Lord!

A few more thoughts on forgiveness:

• Bringing baggage of unforgiveness from an old relationship into a new one is NOT a sexy way to try to start--I promise!

• Lots of times, we hold onto bitterness from old relationships because we think in some way it's hurting them, but usually, they have no idea.  In fact, most of the time, they've already moved on to someone else.  It turns out that rather than hurting them, we're only hurting and hindering ourselves.  My mom likes to say, "Unforgiveness is like eating poison and waiting for the other person to die."  

• Sometimes forgiveness can be instantaneous, and other times it's a process.  It's okay if it needs to be a process.  

• I don't know about you, but when it comes to forgiveness, I can't do it on my own.  Thankfully, we have a God who can listen to us as we walk through the process and equip us with the strength to forgive.  One of my favorite prayers is this, "God, I want to forgive, but it's SO hard.  Help me!"

   

Forgiveness

It's only Wednesday and I will say, this past week has been quite a whirlwind.  I've been ping-ponging back and forth from Charlottesville to Virginia Beach to Charlottesville and now back to Virginia Beach.  There are events in both cities that I just can't miss and as Tim Gunn likes to say, "I'm making it work."

Monday night, I scooted back to Charlottesville for our second Changing Seasons event at UVA.  Thursday night, we learned our speaker would not be able to make it due to an unforeseen emergency, so we scurried to put together plan B and the next thing I knew, I was a "forgiveness expert" on a panel for UVA women.  So needless to say, it's something I've been thinking a lot about over the past week and where I've seen it in my own life.

Forgiveness is something a majority of us struggle with--whether it's petty roommate issues or massive betrayals and I don't know about you, but for me, it is SO incredibly hard to let things go.

In high school, I, along with an entire church youth group, at our peak of its "cool" stage, walked through a massive hurt and betrayal when we learned that our married youth leader--someone we looked up to, trusted, and aspired to be--had crossed some major lines with my friend and engaged in an inappropriate physical relationship with her.

When word got out, he was quickly relieved of his duties as our youth pastor, and we wrestled and struggled to make sense of what had just happened and how to move forward.    

As the months and years went on, my emotions moved from shock to sadness to hurt and eventually to extreme bitterness and unforgiveness.  How could he do this?!  I realize none of us are perfect, but he was supposed to be and he totally let us down!

I watched as slowly, little-by-little, many people tried to do the "Christian thing" and forgive.  They would meet with him for lunch or coffee, forgive him for letting us down, and then move right along as if nothing happened.  But with each meeting that took place, my unforgiveness got bigger and bigger.

I couldn't understand how people were ready to move on and forget the horrible thing that happened, and each time, I felt a bigger burden to hold on to it forever.  What he did was NOT okay and so I decided to hold on to the hate, bitterness, and refusal to forgive for everyone else.  If they were moving on, I would make sure my judgement was even more severe...someone had to remember what happened, and I took it upon myself to be the one.

Two years later, I found myself in a small Bible study in college talking about unforgiveness.  When the study ended, I stayed at the woman's house, weeping because my heart was so hard and bitter and I didn't know how to move on from such hatred.

What I realized that day, was this burden of unforgiveness I was bearing was only hurting and hindering myself.  The man I had resolved to hate didn't have any idea that three hours away, I was up in Charlottesville loathing him.  My hatred wasn't helping or hurting anyone, it was only hindering me and making it impossible for me to move on.

So I shared with Lainie, a much older and wiser woman, my situation and she agreed to meet with me several times to work and pray through it together.

Though these meetings were on her couch, involved tea and cookies, and I never paid her a dime, they were essentially counseling sessions that my hard and bitter heart was desperate for.  Through these sessions, we were able to talk through a lot of different aspects of the situation that I'd never been able to share. There were different parts of the story that she was able to validate in me and then we were able to move on to the forgiveness aspect.  

The two things that I heard most clearly from her were this:

• Just because you forgive someone, does NOT mean that what they did was okay. 
• It's not our job to judge, it's God's job, and we can trust that He is sovereign.

Hearing these two nuggets of truth helped me SO much in setting my heart free, because I was able to come to terms with the fact that even if I chose to forgive, it didn't mean that what happened was okay.

I also recognized that a lot of my unforgiveness stemmed from the need I felt to judge my youth pastor for his actions, when ultimately that's not my job.  That's between him and God and it wasn't a role I needed to play.

So little by little, through a lot of prayer, I was able to come to a point where I could say out loud, "God I'm ready to forgive.  I hand this situation into your hands and I ask that you help me let go of my bitterness and my hate."

Though it was nothing big or grand, just a few words I whispered, almost instantly I felt set free.  I remember driving home and I couldn't believe the weight that I felt that had been lifted off of my heart.
  
Though I never made a public apology and we have never seen each other outside of large events since, a few short weeks later, God provided an opportunity for me to indirectly walk out my new found forgiveness.  It's another long, complicated story, and this post is already WAY too long.  But I what I loved about it was how quickly after God had set my heart free, he gave me an opportunity to put my new found forgiveness into practice and reassure me that I was truly free.  Thanks be to God!

Sorry for the very long post...tomorrow, we'll look at trying to forgive the stupid boyfriends who hurt us...get excited!   
   

Word of Life

Last week, I found something in my desk that is very near and dear to my heart: little cards with Bible verses on them.  There was I time in my life where I felt desperate and weak and would keep this little ring of verses to always bring me back to Truth. It was so fun looking back at the verses and remembering how God had used them to speak truth into certain situations in my life, but oh, how soon we forget...

My circumstances may be different, but I am just as in need of God's word now as I was back then, but somehow I've lost my drive.  God's word is such a lifeline for us and it is SO good to be meditating on it day and night.  Not because we have to, but because when we do, it brings life to our dry and weary hearts.

Here are a few of my favorites from the cards:

"The Lord WILL fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord endures forever--do not abandon the words of your hands."

Psalm 138:8

"May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of sheep, EQUIP you with everything GOOD for doing HIS WILL, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ."

Hebrews 13:20-21

Friday Favorites

Lots of videos today!  Email subscribers, click here.

Happy Friday!  Here are a few fun videos and links to carry you into the weekend:

In case you ever wondered what my sweet husband does all day at "school," here's a little preview:


 

I've been on the Bubba Watson train all week since he won the Masters, and this clip was just the icing on the cake!





Ever wanted to be a celebrity for a day?  According to this video, shot in the fabulous MacArthur Mall in Norfolk, VA, it might not be as hard as we think:




Any Downton Abbey fans out there?  How about Revenge?  Check out these great posts featured on Pioneer Woman, If Only Mrs. Obrein's Bangs Could Talk and Revenge is Oh-So-Sweet.


Busy, on-the-go moms may appreciate this post from my mom on the Changing Seasons blog.  I mean five kids ranging from 0-8?  She's kind of my hero!

Happy Weekend!

My Times Are In Your Hand

Image via Pinterest

But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”

My times are in Your hand.

Psalm 31:13-14 (NKJV)

But Take Heart!

Image via Pinterest

It's fun to delight and rejoice in a God who performs miracles, but what about when things aren't going our way?  When cancer, divorce, miscarriages, addiction, death, and shattered dreams come upon us?  What then?  Where is our awesome and powerful God in those moments?

I know that God is still good because I've been taught to believe it, I've seen it, and I know there are scriptures in the Bible that talk about God being near and saving those who are crushed and broken...but in the moment, it totally sucks, and it's hard to remind yourself of Truth.

This morning, I have no answers as I find myself sending up prayers for things that shouldn't be.  Things that are unjust.  Things that aren't fair.  Things that I can't begin to comprehend.

As Christians, we can take heart that this isn't our final destination, but it still doesn't always make things easier when you're in the thick of it.  I remember a few years ago, I was going through an extremely dark and difficult time.  I went up to take communion and our minister looked at me as he handed me the bread and said, "Elizabeth, this is the body of Christ.  May it sustain you in this life and carry you into the next."

Those words were honey to my hurting and numb soul and I remember walking back with tears in my eyes and praying, "God, I want to be with you now...I'm tired and I'm hurting and I don't want to wait."

I realize that can appear slightly morbid, but in that moment, I was so acutely aware that this life isn't all that there is and I was ready to get this show on the road, because what awaits us is SO much better than even the best of days here on earth.  The Psalms talk about how just one day in the house of God is better than 1,000 anywhere else, doesn't that sound glorious?

But God's timing is perfect and I know He has us each here for a reason.  And deep, deep down I know that even when we're faced with pain and difficult situations, God is good and He remains the God of miracles.  So this morning as I am plagued with so many more questions than answers the verse that is ringing in my heart is this:

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

John 16:33

And once again, I'm back where I was last week, "Jesus, thank You for the cross."

I Believe In Miracles

Photo from the AP

See this picture?  This is the aftermath following the F-18 jet crash in Virginia Beach on Good Friday, just a few miles from my parents' house.  This catastrophic crash destroyed about 40 apartment buildings, but, amazingly enough, there was not one fatality.  Not one.

One man walked to his bathroom seconds before to change his contacts, some of the elderly residents would have normally been home, but were at church for Good Friday services, and it seems each resident has their own miraculous story of what could have been.

The fact that no one died is truly miraculous and has been heralded as a miracle by our governor, our mayor, and the head of the US Force Fleet Command.

Today, we thank all those who so courageously served one another in a moment of need, and we thank God for this Easter miracle.”

-Governor Bob McDonnell

That every person involved in that incident - the pilots, the residents, the first-responders - can wake up to this glorious day that God has made and hug their loved ones - that is truly miraculous.

-Virginia Beach Mayor Will Sessoms

I don't speak for anybody's religious beliefs, but the mayor and I both agreed that if you want to define a miracle, what happened here yesterday meets that definition for me.

-Admiral John Harvey

The story has even inspired articles in the media detailing the miraculous events.  You can read some here, here, and here.  

This past weekend was a weekend of celebrating miracles—first with Passover and remembering God's sovereign protection of His children on Friday and then by rejoicing and remembering Christ's resurrection—the greatest miracle of all time—on Sunday.  

And as we remember the miracles that were, it's amazing to be able to thank and praise God for what is and be reminded that our God is still very much alive and active in our world today and He remains the God of miracles.  

Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.

Jeremiah 32:17

He Is Risen!

Happy Easter!  I hope you had the most glorious day!  We traveled to the beach to be with my family and had a fabulous time.

Although the older we get, Easter morning still remains just as chaotic.  On Easter Eve, my mom announces that we're pulling out of the house at 8:20 am to get to our 9:00 service (we live four minutes away, but our family is so big, we now require an entire row).

I don't know how my parents ever got their five children to church, but especially on Easter Sunday...there were dresses, tights, hats, and fresh flowers for the cross at the altar.  My parents were rockstars!

But even now that we can all dress ourselves, when four daughters, three husbands, two babies, a cousin, a college friend, and an extra dog descend on my parent's empty nest, craziness ensues.

Dresses are tried on and tossed about, shoes fly and flail through the hallways, my mom's curlers, straightener, and jewelry are ransacked and clouds of hairspray and perfume fill the air.  The clock continues to tick and we hurry and scurry to get out the door.  By the time we're out the door, the kitchen looks like a bomb went off...coffee cups, cereal bowls, half eaten muffins, and cookie crumbs line the counters.

Yesterday, as my dad headed out early to jam in the worship band (I told you he was a rockstar), he announced that his beloved hunting dog Zeke was missing.  Sound the alarms!

So as if hurrying and scurrying around to get out the door wasn't enough, we're now looking in every corner of the house and yard for this stupid dog.  B and Marshall patrol the neighborhood, and I'm walking around the driveway yelling for Zeke.

In the midst of the dog commotion, we have more commotion in the kitchen...my parent's dog Zoe decided to give two-year-old Louisa a big slobbery Easter "kiss" and slobbered all over her beautiful pink Easter dress.  Tears ensued and she begged to change.  I don't know who was in charge of damage control, but by the time I got there, I picked her up in her original dress and she said sweetly, "Don't worry, Zoe just gave me some kisses."  What a resilient little trooper!    

The clan piled out, still no dog in sight.  B and I were told to stay behind and be on Zeke duty.  B continued to drive around and I was yelling like a fool praying this stupid dog would return.  At 8:51, B rolled into the driveway with my father's beloved dog in hand.  It was as Easter miracle--Zeke had returned!  Additionally, B had just won MAJOR father-in-law points!

We put all the dogs in the house and rushed into the car.  It was the first time I had taken a breath since I had woken up at 7:00am.  We hurried to church and paused when we saw this in our neighbor's yard:

He is Risen!

I exhaled and was instantly filled with joy and anticipation at seeing their traditional Easter Egg heralding Christ's resurrection annually on Easter Sunday.  He is Risen!  Why do we do any of this?  Because He. Is. Risen. And that is something totally worth celebrating and rejoicing!  Jesus conquered death.

"Why do you look for the living among the dead?  He is not here; he has risen!"  

Luke 24:5-6

Thank You for the cross!

PS: I so enjoyed catching up on my "Easter posts" this morning and particularly enjoyed this post from Beth Moore and this one from Nina Simone.  

Thank You.

Image via Pinterest

As if my Hilary Duff confession yesterday wasn't bad enough, here's another one for you: I still watch Grey's Anatomy.  Ready for another?  Yesterday, the soundtrack to my work day was set by various Grey's Anatomy playlists I found online.

One of the things that Grey's Anatomy does SO well is pair each scene with the perfect song, inevitably evoking tears from this loyal viewer (the only show that makes me cry more is Parenthood...they get me every time!)

I love good music.  I love how it makes you feel, how it can set up a scene so perfectly, and how it's adjustable to your mood...here's another super embarrassing fact about me: I like to listen to Justin Bieber when I clean my house.

But in addition to tv soundtracks and the Biebs, I also love a good worship song.  I think it's great that there are so many different avenues and ways to connect with God, but as for me, I'm always going to be a "happy clappy" kind of girl.  I LOVE connecting with God through worship.

So today, on Good Friday, there's a song that I just have to share.  One that brings tears to my eyes every time I sing it, no matter what day of the year it is.  Sometimes when I think about Christ's sacrifice, it's hard to find the right words and I love the way worship songs can help you out.  For me, there's no better response than this: "Thank You for the cross."

So, wherever you Easter plans take you, and no matter how cute and fabulous your Easter dress is, I pray each one of us will be able to steal a moment of time where we can get alone with Jesus and say, "Jesus, thank You for the cross..."

(Email subscribers click here)



I LOVED this post from my sweet Mama on Jesus' Last Supper.

I also could have re-written this exact same post again this year.

Let It Rain

Yesterday, my best bud Neely and I headed to the grounds of UVA to meet my little sister Abby for a walk.  After we dropped her off at her house, the clouds were looking ominous, so I decided to put an extra pep in our step and run home.

Around the time we neared the football stadium, it began to POUR rain...we're talking buckets!  It's been a long time since I've been caught in the rain and I have to say, it was pretty exhilarating.  After an hour long walk and a fifteen minute run that made me want to keel over (baby steps, ya'll) it felt so good to have the rain pouring down on me.

In that moment, hot, tired, and sweaty, NOTHING felt better than a little, or in this case, a LOT of a cool rain.

I love rain...Rain brings new life.  Rain refreshes.  Rain restores.  Rain cleanses.

I pondered this as I basked in my rain storm while that Hilary Duff song played in my head (Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams...horrible, I know!) When I had finally run through the storm guess...just guess what was on the other side?

That's right, a rainbow!

I paused because I thought it was SO cool that here we are, just before Easter, and God is dazzling us with a sign that symbolizes His promise to us.  

Then I turned around behind me and saw this:

Pardon the construction we must endure daily, but if you look past it, you can see the rays of light peering through the clouds...

I mean, is it just me, or was God showing off?  Sometimes, I don't know how people can look out at the beauty of nature and not believe in a higher power--the beauty of God's creation never ceases to amaze me!


Friends, God is powerful. God is beautiful.God is constantly moving all around us.  And just like my little rainstorm, God washes over us in a fresh way to bring us new life, restore us, and  cleanse us completely.

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

Psalm 42:7

See below for my favorite NEEDTOBREATHE song, Washed by the Water:
Email subscribers, click here.

You Have Answered Me.

Image by Elise Theuer

First of all, I must wish my sweet little sister Cally a happy, happy birthday!  Having three sisters is in and of itself a gift, but three sisters who double as best friends is simply delightful.

Cally, thank you for always answering the phone when I'm pounding the pavement in my little wagon on 64 at all hours of the day.  Thank you for quickly emailing me the typos and grammatical errors on the blog, but always prefacing it with "great post today...".  Thank you for changing the way I buy cosmetics forever and for always bringing me little samples when we see each other.  Thank you for having the same size shoes as me and sharing your fabulous New York wardrobe with your "Talbots Mom Jeans" older sister.  But most importantly, thank you for being a constant encourager in my life and inspiring me daily with the way you love God and serve others SO dearly.  This list could go on and on...basically, I love you dearly and I'm SO grateful for your birth! 

Not sure how to transition into a post on Easter, but here we go...

In keeping with the challenge I wrote about on Monday, to read Psalms 18-26 this week before Easter, today I landed on Psalm 22. 

I can't say I've spent much time on Psalm 22, but it basically parallels the sufferings of Jesus.  I would strongly recommend reading it, because it's different reading as if it's in the first person, versus the accounts from the New Testament.  What I was struck by is this—Jesus suffered.  Forgive me if I'm stating the obvious, but reading it in a way where Jesus is pouring His heart out to God somehow made it come alive to me—to hear Jesus talking about feeling forsaken, being surrounded by wicked, being pierced in the hands and feet, and watching them gamble away His clothes, seemed so real to me.

None of us have suffered more than Jesus, and through His suffering, we can take heart that He understands our own sufferings—the pain, the betrayals, the attacks—He's been there.

My favorite part was this...after detailing His sufferings and crying out to God it says, "You have answered Me."  

The notes in my Bible (can't get through a chapter without them) say that for Jesus, the resurrection was the answer to His prayer, and to all of our prayers.  God. Answered. Him.

And just like God saw the sufferings of Jesus and heard the cries of His Son, He sees and hears us as well.  And we can be confident that not only does He hear us, He will answer us.

Psalm 23 was the other Psalm I read this morning...and there's a reason it's so loved and quoted...it's amazing!  Click here and here for more on Psalm 23. 

Taking Out The Trash

You may recall a few weeks ago, I co-hosted a shower for sweet Anna Kate (the one in which we have no photographic evidence).  Although here's a shot I texted my mom so she could see her silver put to good use:

After the shower had ended and all the guests had departed, I set out to put my house back together and prepare for another set of house guests arriving in a few short hours.  Since only a few days had passed since we had paid to have our house cleaned, I was still completely inspired and worked hard to keep everything clean and in its proper place.

For three hours, I cleaned up the shower remains, washed the sheets, remade the bed, wrapped a 30th birthday present—I was up and down and in every corner of my house—the main level, the basement, the attic, and the outside trash cans.

Around 8:00 I was exhausted and FINALLY ready to put my feet up.  I decided I would treat myself by painting my nails, so I got everything out to get started and then went to the bathroom to wash my hands.  As I dried them off, I noticed something felt off about the ring on my right hand...I looked down to realize the stone was missing...sheer panic set in.

This wasn't just any ring, it was my college graduation present from my parents that I deeply cherished and valued.  It was also not the first time the stone had fallen out—only this time I was not fortunate enough to catch it in my hand.

It had only been a month  ince taking it to the jeweler in New York to be fixed where he informed us that it was one of the most beautiful stones of this type that he'd ever seen and the value of the ring had gone up considerably in the past six years.

I was freaking out—I walked around my house saying, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..."  Not in a cursing kind of way, but in a prayer of desperation kind of way.  The good news was that I KNEW it was in my house since I hadn't left since I put it on, but the bad news was since I put it on, I had literally been in every single corner of my little tree house—it could be anywhere.  I retraced my many steps, crawled around on the floor, turned my cushions upside down, but to no avail.

I had been dealing with two different bags of trash, and I went down to try to look through them, but decided I would exhaust all other options before stooping to that level.

The days passed by with no sign of the stone...I would have dreams about finding it and wake up in the morning to look in that spot, but was never successful...I was panicked, but still had a little calm.  When things like this happen, there's little we can do, so I didn't want to ruin my week by being miserable.

B couldn't believe that I was doing all kinds of grunt work wearing it after it had already fallen out once...he was so right...I just hate it when he's right.

I went on with my days always mindful it was missing, but not able to find it.  The one place I thought it could be was the guest bed since I had made it that afternoon, but each time I looked in the crevices, I couldn't find it.

And then there were the trash bags that loomed in the back of my mind, but I just couldn't bring myself to get to them.

Last week, I informed B that we could not put the trash on the street just in case my ring was in it...so yesterday with two weeks of trash piled up and trash day on the horizon, I knew it was time.

Before I jumped in, I took the guest bed apart one last time, shaking the sheets, pulling the bed apart, but still nothing.  The trash bags were calling my name.

I grabbed some gloves and made a make-shift mask with one of B's undershirts—I was ready to go!  My first bag was mainly the wrapping paper—no big deal.  I sorted through tissue paper, boxes, cards, ribbons, with a few cups thrown into the mix.  I even snagged some tissue paper and wrapping paper that I thought could be salvaged, only to realize that it carried with it the stench of garbage later on and therefore could not be resuscitated. 

I went through every corner, but found nothing, leading me to bag number two.  Ya'll, I can't even tell you how disgusting this was—even thinking about writing it is making me sick to my stomach—we had salmon, cheese, diapers....types of mold I didn't even know existed were growing everywhere and there were flies and bugs crawling around the chocolate cupcake crumbs.  I sorted through some pieces picking it up one by one and then I would take a break to I dry heave in the corner.  Gross, gross, and grosser.  (At this point I was REALLY regretting the fact that we didn't have a garbage disposal).

After all of that, I STILL didn't find the ring.  What a waste! (pun intended)

I went back into the guestroom and prayed, asking God to show me where the ring was (keep in mind, I had been praying and praying, but hadn't found anything).  I decided to pull the mattress off the bed and look in both corners against the wall—within seconds, I felt it—my long lost stone had been found!

I shrieked and then just laid across the mattress clutching it tightly.  I couldn't believe I found it! 

As I thought through the process it struck me that it wasn't until after I had humbled myself to dig through a two-and-a-half-week old bag of trash that I discovered my stone—in a place that I had already scoured several times—what was God trying to teach me?

Today, on the Tuesday before Easter, what I've come up with is this—so often my heart resembles that bag of trash—filled with nasty, decrepit thoughts, actions, and intentions.  That bag of trash is what my soul looks like without Jesus—purely detestable and dry heavable.

But Jesus, the only one who knows the full extent of my sinful nature, was ready and willing to die on the cross, giving His life for mine.  With that, He has turned my bag of trash into a new creation—one that is clean, one that has a sweet aroma, one that is loved and cherished, and one that without doing a thing, is entitled to the free gift of everlasting life with the God of the universe.  Talk about a miracle!

So this year, as disgusting as digging through the trash was, I'm actually grateful the experience, because it has brought a fresh perspective on Christ's sacrifice for me and just what a gift it is to be fully cleansed, fully forgiven, and fully loved by God.

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin.

Romans 3:23-25 (NLT) 

A few more "Lessons Learned" from my ring debacle:

• As usual, B was right—it's never a good idea to do housework in your fancy jewelry.
• If the jeweler tells you your ring has doubled in value, get it insured.
• At the end of the day, stuff is stuff...take care of what you have, but don't let it overpower or define you.
• When you lose things, ask God what He wants to teach you...whether you find it or not, there's usually a lesson involved.

  

Spiritual Jump-Start

Image via Pinterest

Happy Monday!  I hope you had a wonderful weekend! 

Did you know that this Monday carries us into Easter Sunday?  It seems like just yesterday we were talking about cultivating during the Lenten season, and now, here we are. 

I don't know how Lent has been for you, and don't worry, I'm not going to ask.  For me, I started out charged up and ready, only to find myself faltering in my visions of grandeur and begging for forgiveness last week because I felt like a total failure. 

But here's the beautiful thing: just because it's Lent, God does not stop being God.  Even though during this time, while we reflect on the incredible sacrifice that Jesus made for us to bring us to God and set us completely free from our sins, His grace and His mercy do not pause.

As I prayed and asked for forgiveness, I felt God whisper, "It's done.  Pick yourself up and keep on going."  

Lent and Holy Week is a time to reflect on the pain Christ endured on the cross and the power of his resurrection, because we want to, not because God forces it upon us.  But all the while, no matter what the status of our hearts may be, God doesn't take a break as we sit back and reflect on the Easter story.  Nope!

While we reflect on what Easter means, God is still alive and active—ready to save, ready to heal, and ready to resuscitate our cold, dead, and weary hearts.  Don't for a second think that God takes a break even for a moment. 

Over the weekend, Beth Moore was tweeting about praying for heart's to be jump-started back to life this week for those who "may still pray, but no longer feel; people who serve, but no longer love....May THIS be the week of you awakening," she wrote.  I loved that imagery and it really struck a chord in my heart. 

I have no idea where you are this week, if your heart feels revved up and ready for Easter, or if you feel dry, disconnected, and weary, but whatever your status may be, take heart that God is near!   

Beth Moore told anyone who is longing for some kind of awakening this week to ready Psalms 18-26 out loud this week.  Now, reading a Psalm out loud may seem awkward at first, but for someone like me, whose mind is always wandering from the Psalm to what to fix for dinner, it's a great way to help me focus and connect with the words. 

So, no matter where you are this week, if you find yourself needing a jolt, want to join me?  If we read two Psalms a day starting with today, we'll be finished by Easter!  First up?

Psalm 18
Psalm 19

Psalm 18 starts out with "I love you Lord..."I like it already!