Keep It Loose

After I wrote my post yesterday on letting go, I remembered an experience I had over 10 years ago that  has always reiterated the importance of trusting God with our lives.

(I apologize in advance to any "climbers" out there...the story below will not involve technical terms.)

When I was about 14, my family went on vacation to Colorado.  One day, we decided to go rock climbing and repelling.  Thinking I could conquer anything, I hiked up to the top of the mountain and I was ready to jump.  Upon my ascent, there was this cute mountain boy to get me all set up.  Once I was ready to begin my descent off the mountain, I became paralyzed with fear.


"I'm supposed to put my life into the hands of a rope and trust that I can make it down??  Who thinks up these sports?" 

I was petrified.  I think I sat up there for quite some time shaking, crying, and afraid.  But I couldn't just walk down the mountain...no way!  Especially when my older sister had already made it down—I would not be defeated!

After what seemed like about 5 hours, but I'm sure was only 5 minutes, cute mountain boy said to me, "Okay Elizabeth, I know it can be really scary to trust, but I need you to start loosening your grip on the rope and let it slide down your fingers so that you can start going down.  Once you start moving, be sure you don't grip the rope too tightly, or you'll lose control and crash right into the side of the mountain.  It's kind of like us and God—if the rope is your life, your need to make sure that you're not holding on too tightly and trust that He can take care of you.  It's when you try to take control of your life that you usually wind up crashing. 

Before actually thinking about the truth in cute mountain boy's message, my first thought was, "Where did cute mountain boy learn how to talk about God?!?  Clearly, he's the one!" (No one told me we were with a Christian rock climbing organization...who knew those even existed?)

Apparently, all I needed was for cute mountain boy to start talking God and I was off!  (Mainly to impress "my future husband" with my sense of adventure.)  When I arrived safe and sound at the bottom of the mountain, the truth of his words were finally able to sink into my heart.  Since then, that experience has often reminded me to loosen my grip on my life and trust that God can support me.

Two things can happen when we hold on too tightly:

1.  You don't move at all.

Before I started heading down, I was holding on so tightly, that it was impossible to move.  It wasn't until I slowly began peeling my fingers off of the rope that I began to make progress.

Often when we're afraid to relinquish control and step out, we wind up stuck and miss out of the adventure God might be leading us to.  If God is calling us to step out, we can't be afraid to trust Him.  

2.  You crash.

At one point going down the mountain, I felt myself going too fast and was terrified.  My natural reaction was to try to take back control and grip the rope, only to find my face quickly meeting the mountain.  (Cute mountain boy was no liar.)

Even when we're stepping out in faith, there are times when our fears or need for control can cause us to take our eyes off of God.  In the Matthew 14, we see Jesus call Peter to step out and walk on water, but the minute he takes his eyes off of Jesus and sees the wind and the waves, Peter becomes afraid and starts to sink. 

Thankfully, when we call to Him, our loving gracious God will not let us sink.  Peter cries out for Jesus to save him and Matthew 14:31 says, "Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" 

It's scary to let go, step out, and learn to trust.  It's definitely a learning process, and thankfully, God gives us a gracious learning curve.

Let's rejoice together that the God we long to love is trustworthy, faithful, and full of support for our lives.  Not only that, but He has plans for us!

My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways...There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off."

Proverbs 23:26, 18

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

Psalm 9:10

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."   

Psalm 28:7

Letting Go

(My brother Willis entrusting his life to a plastic Flipper as he soars through the air)

Sorry I've been a little MIA this week.  My life is about to settle down, but it hasn't quite yet.  Since Monday, I have driven from DC to Virginia Beach, back to DC Tuesday night, and yesterday morning I hopped onto 95 with Bernie at 6:00 am and once again I find myself in Virginia Beach.  To make a long story short, Bernie found out Tuesday he'll be working here for two weeks, and since my work is here as well, we loaded up our wagon (yes, we drive a wagon) and will now be here for two weeks.  Upon the news I called work and agreed to take on a focus group this morning at 6:45 am, so it's kind of been one thing after the next.  Come tonight, at least I'll feel somewhat settled for two weeks.  After that, who knows?

In other news, in case you didn't know, guest posts make my heart sing!  I love hearing the hearts, struggles, and desires of other women and I also LOVE being able to fill up Long to Love with other voices besides mine.  So, thanks to Josie and Cally!  And for anyone else who has something on their heart, please let me know!  I always want this blog to be a joint effort.

Not only were Josie and Cally's posts amazing, but they really resonated with my heart.  Over the past few weeks, I have really been wrestling with my need/lack of control over my future plans.  We're currently in a waiting period until we hear about Bernie's business school applications, and now all we can do is wait.  It's hard for me not to feel anxious, doubtful, or numb.  It's also extremely hard not to get carried away planning this next stage of life that may or may not be happening.

Two weeks ago, I found myself dreaming about a more settled life, a house, a dog, a slower pace, living nearby some of my dearest friends, and I felt the Lord whisper to my heart, "Let this go and just trust Me."

For someone who lives to be in control and whose family occasionally refers to me as "Bossy The Cow," (I have no idea where that came from) letting go can be be SO hard. 

Especially, when you have no idea what to expect.  I loved when Josie wrote:

"Let's be honest.  You and I are not ultimately in control of our lives—it's at once a huge bummer and a great relief.  But it's only a comfort and relief because I believe that the One who is in charge not only knows me, but deeply cares for me and has promised to take care of me.  Even more, He's promised a full life!


So I encourage you to let go of control—you don't have it anyway!—and to embrace the challenges that God puts in your path." 

"Let go of control—you don't have it anyway!"  So true but so hard.

I also loved how Cally talked about letting go of the notion that we're in control of our timeline:

"The Lord has certainly shattered the idea that I can be in control of my timeline or my future and has recently been teaching me how to trust in Him, even when I really don't want to."

Over the past two years, one verse that continues to come up in my life is Proverbs 16:9,  

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."

As hard as I try to control things, I'm slowly learning that it's ultimately the Lord who determines our steps—even when we're scared and have no idea where those steps are going to lead us.  

In times of transition and unknown, I have clung to the promise in Isaiah where God assures us,

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."
Isaiah 42:16

Letting go of control and surrendering our plans to God is scary, but thankfully the God we love promises us that even when we can't see where we're going, when the path is unknown, when we're in the dark; He will lead us.  He will turn our darkness into light.  He will make the rough places smooth.  And He will never, ever forsake us.

No matter what happens over the next few weeks, I am learning to trust that God is always good and He always has a plan, even if it doesn't end up looking how I might have planned it.  

But until then, you can say a little prayer as I continue to learn how to wait, trust, and let go... 

Guest Post From Cally!

(Cally and Lulu Bug)

We have another guest post today!  Today, we get to hear from my sister Cally.  Not only is she my sister, but she's one of my best friends. (cheesy, but true)  She also faithfully proofreads every blog post and tells me when I write your when I mean you're (oh, the horror!), or when I'm not making any sense.  And she runs her own nonprofit that empowers women in Thailand.  And she's one of the most encouraging, generous people I know.  And she's about to graduate college.  And she loves Jesus.  Cally, take it away!

So I offered to write a guest post for Elizabeth today because I know she is busy today, but I do feel like I have quite a hard act to follow after months of great insight from my sister and the most recent guest post from Josie. 

As a senior in college, I am daily faced with a looming graduation day and the incessant question: "So what are you doing next year?"  As a type-A planner with every hour color-coordinated, I desperately long to have the perfect job and apartment lined up, for my own sanity and so I can look impressive to other people.  The Lord has certainly shattered the idea that I can be in control of my timeline or my future and has recently been teaching me how to trust in Him, even when I really don't want to.

"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money."  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."
James 4:13-15

Some part of me feels like this verse is a bit drastic (I guess that is because I prefer to consider myself to be at least slightly more important than mist), but the underlying point is true.  I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, next month, or next year.  I need to stop outlining my ideal for the next five years and refocus my priorities.  Instead of focusing on my call, my purpose, or my career, I need to focus on the Lord.  By seeking God and delighting in Him, I will receive the desires of my heart (even though I don't know exactly what those are yet!).  I am unbelievably thankful that I trust a God who promises that He will provide not just plans, but "exceedingly abundantly more than we can ask or imagine." (Ephesians 3:20)

Whether you are facing an imminent transition or just trying to figure out how the Lord will use you in your current situation, have faith that the Lord will provide.  Only through seeking Him can we be fully satisfied.  That is such a relief, because I cannot handle the pressure of being responsible for my own life.  If a certain lifestyle, city, or career would make me truly happy, I probably should have started the job search a little sooner!

 Delight yourself in the LORD
       and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
       trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
       the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.

Psalm 37:4-7

Everlasting Support

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."

Deuteronomy 33:27

When it seems like you can't commit to one more thing...

When it feels like your finals are never going to end...

When it feels like your heartbreak will never begin to heal...

When you feel worn out and tired from waiting...

When you're terrified to trust...

When you don't feel worthy...

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."

I pray that we will begin to see God as our refuge and that He will give us eyes to see how He is holding us up and supporting us with His faithful, loving, everlasting arms. 

Thank you God!

PS:  If you missed Josie's guest post and Little Lights video on Friday, be sure to check it out!

Guest Post: Out of Control

Today is a BIG day on Long to Love!  First of all, check out our new look!  (e-mail and reader subscribers, click here)  In the words of Bernie, "I'm longing to love it!"

Secondly, we have a guest post from Josie Ortega!  Josie originally hails from Memphis and is one of my bestest friends from college. Josie asked me to post a video of her Little Lights fund-raising campaign on my blog, but I thought it would be better to hear from her, since she's the one on the ground doing all the incredible work.  (plus, those who know me know I'm always looking for guest posts!)  I envisioned a small paragraph introducing the video, but the result is more than anything I could have imagined.  Do yourself a favor and read the entire post—it's AMAZING—real, challenging, and incredibly refreshing.  Her heart is so beautiful.  Without further ado, here's Josie! 

I'm here today to ask for your money.  I wanted my dear friend Elizabeth to seamlessly weave in a plug for me, but instead she says "Feel free to write a post."  So, in an effort to build character and be more vulnerable with you, dear reader, I'll tell you the story of how I came to be here, asking for your money, and about how God is teaching me to exchange my fear for faith.

I'm a girl from Memphis, and I did not grow up in the 'hood, though I may like to claim it sometimes when I think I'm being funny.  Last summer I started working for Little Lights Urban Ministries, an organization in Washington, DC that provides tutoring, mentoring, etc. to kids and families in the inner-city. 

Though this change wasn't as dramatic as I'm making it seem, it did bring significant changes to my life.  Financial comfort doesn't come as easily, and emotionally it's draining to feel the weight of poverty in the city on a daily basis, and to know children who face seemingly insurmountable odds. 

Additionally, for the first time, I was a minority in the workplace.  The kids we work with are primarily African-American, and because Little Lights was founded by a Korean-American, historically most volunteers, donors, and employees are Asian-Americans.

Even before assuming this new identity in the minority at work, about a year and a half ago I married a dashing Mexican-American man, and if that's not enough, he's FROM THE NORTH.  

(I had claimed for years that I was destined to marry a blonde so we could have tow-headed children and further the Aryan race.  My friends delighted in the irony when my last name became Ortega, and they still think it's hilarious.  Thank goodness he's conservative and a preppy dresser!  Just kidding, but seriously.)

On top of learning a new culture and communicating with fabulous new in-laws, I've been thrown into the deep end of el mundo latino as we attend a mostly Hispanic church in Northern Virginia.  (I took French in school, by the way.)

Don't get me wrong; I'm totally a post-racial person!  At least, I thought I was until I found myself in the minority and realized how uncomfortable and insecure I can be.

So thus it happened that the girl at the top of her class in high school (not top of my class in college, but, you know, I enjoy Dostoevsky) came to struggle with feelings of ignorance as I learn a new language.  I thought I was doing fairly well, until a couple of weeks ago when I couldn't answer a guy who asked me how to say "sun" in English.  It wasn't that difficult; he was pointing at the fiery orb in the sky; but I got flustered.  Language fail!

Sometimes I might feel worthless at moments like that, but then I remember that God says I am worthwhile, no matter how (un)smart and (un)confident I am.  I'm afraid of feeling out of place, uncomfortable, or dumb; but with those feelings I'm learning to cry out to God:

I say, "You are my refuge ,
my portion in the land of the living."
Attend to my cry,
for I am brought very low!

And again there's my job.  I love working at Little Lights, and it's taken this "career" change for me to realize just how afraid I am of whether or not I'll be considered successful, whether people with think I'm smart and capable, whether I'll have enough money to be happy. 

Bring me out of prison [this prison of fear!]
that I may give thanks to your name!

And by the end of  Psalm 142, along with King David I'm learning to believe God's faithfulness and say,

You will deal bountifully with me. 

Thus a UVa sorority girl exchanged the high heels she wore working on Capitol Hill and K Street for flats and flip-flops.  The heels have been bequeathed to two Little Lights Teen Interns for their fellowships this summer. . . at offices on Capitol Hill and K Street.   I couldn't be happier.

Let's be honest.  You and I are not ultimately in control of our lives—it's at once a huge bummer and a great relief.  But it's only a comfort and relief because I believe that the One who is in charge not only knows me, but deeply cares for me and has promised to take care of me.  Even more, He's promised a full life!

So I encourage you to let go of control—you don't have it anyway!—and to embrace the challenges that God puts in your path. 

I have very little figured out.  Honestly, it's easier for me to type away on my mac right now than to be nice to my husband on most days.  But I know by taking the risks God puts in front of me, I'm feeling at once more alive and more in need; both happier and more heart-broken; with more fulfillment and more longing.  I do think that's how it's supposed to be. 

And because it's a legit cause, and because God delights in using His people to take care of each other, I'll ask if you're willing to give just $31 to help Little Lights (we're trying to raise $31,000 to fund our Teen Internships for next school year)!   This video features some of the beautiful teens in the program:



Thanks for reading and watching!  Let's press on to know God as our provider, and as One who wants to give His children every good gift.

Sharp Eyes

"We have seen remarkable things today."

Luke 5:26

Recently, I've been in a phase where for the most part, life has been moseying along.  Besides our big move down the street in March, one of my most exciting updates over the last four months is that I have gotten glasses!  (I know, my life is full of crazy and wild adventures—from two eyes to four!)

When I was little I dreamed of the day I could wear glasses.  Don't ask me why, but I thought they were super cool!  I even tried to fake the eye test so they would give me glasses, but apparently they have ways to decipher when kids lie about their vision.  Or maybe that's just what my mom told me to scare me so I would embrace my perfect vision and pass the test.

Anyways, the time finally came when I legitimately needed glasses.  My eyes aren't terrible, but my new specs definitely help.  I call them my HD glasses because the difference in my vision is similar to that of a regular television vs. a high def one.  It's amazing what a little clarity can do!

With my new and improved vision, I've been thinking a lot about the extent to which I'm able to see God on a daily basis and I've come to the conclusion that I need a little vision repair.

The verse above is from Luke after Jesus heals the paralytic.  These people just saw Jesus heal a man and witnessed the man stand up and walk out holding the mat that had carried him to see Jesus—of course they are going to be filled with awe and wonder!  Can you imagine?!?

When I'm in a place where I see God moving through things like miracles, answered prayers, and opened doors, it is such a powerful thing and a tangible way to recharge my faith.

But what about when we can't see God?  When He doesn't answer our prayers?  When the day just seems ordinary and we don't see God in such a tangible way?  Is God still moving?

In big ways and small ways, God is always with us and He is at work. 

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 31:8

Sometimes it's harder to see, and with all of the different voices and distractions we face daily, it's easy to forget to even look to see if God is moving.  

I once heard a woman speak on a daily prayer that she uses to guide her faith.  At the beginning of her prayer each morning she prays, "Lord, I want to see you."

Every morning, this woman is praying for eyes to see God.
 
Her heart to see God is such an encouragement to me.  I don't just want to see God move when He's staring me right in the face, but I want to see Him throughout all of my days, even the difficult, disappointing, and mundane ones.

I'm far from that there, and I'm definitely not an expert, but I think to begin to get to that place we need to pray for sharpened eyes to see Him.  Just like the prayer above, ask God to open our eyes so we can see Him daily. 

And, if we're going to start praying to see Him, we need to start looking for Him throughout our day.  Looking for Him to show up in unexpected ways and believing that that He can. 

In my life, I think there are many times God moves, but I'm too concerned with other things to even be looking for it, so it completely passes me by.  I don't ever want a moment to go by where I miss out on seeing God move!

So today, I challenge all of us to ask God for eyes to see Him more clearly and then start looking to see where He's going to show up.

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long."

Psalm 25:4-5

Unfailing Love

Originally Posted on February 10, 2008

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you.”
Isaiah 54:10 (NIV)

How comforting to know that no matter what we’ve done, what we’ll do, where we’ve been, and where we’ll go, the Lord will never stop loving us. May this promise refresh our souls as we continue to delight His love!

Lord, I praise you for your unfailing love. Thank for the compassion that you bestow upon me daily. I am so grateful for your perfect love. As reflect on your unconditional love, my heart is bursting with love for you. More than I pray to breathe my next breath, I pray that I would love you with all of my heart. May you be my heart’s number one desire.

Beyond Getting By

Besides feeling like a total waste yesterday and Sunday, two things about yesterday made it somewhat bearable.

1.  Tori and Dean Home Sweet Hollywood marathon on Oxygen.

As embarrassing as this is to admit, I'm telling you, this show is addicting.  I have no idea why.  Even better was the fact that Bernie was so sick he didn't even have the energy to contest my programming of choice, so he watched it with me!  No documentaries on the Discovery channel for us!

2.  Date Night—not a real one, just the new movie.

Around 5:00, we decided we needed to get out of our apartment, so we went to see Date Night with Tina Fey and Steve Carrell.  Who can think of a better movie than one that stars Liz Lemon and Michael Scott's originators?  Oh so good!  They have great on screen chemistry and we both loved it.

The movie is about a forty-something married couple with two kids who feel trapped in the ordinary and mundane and are looking for a way to spice things up, but they end up getting way more than they bargained for.

Anyways, I obviously can't relate to being a forty-something married couple, but I can definitely relate to feeling stuck.  It's easy to go through motions and routines and forget to actually live life.  We can get to a place where we're stuck in school, our job, our friendships, our marriage, our purpose, or our faith. 

As I watched the movie, part of me became apprehensive about living my life and ending up in a similar state.  Next week or twenty years from now, I don't want to get to a place where I realize I'm taking my faith for granted, merely coexisting with the people I care about, and watching as my life passes by.

In Christ, we are offered so much more than settling for the status quo, but am I taking Him up on it?

Am I living just to get by, or am I living in a way where I expect to see God at any moment?  Where I believe that as long as I'm on this earth, He has plans for me?  That I have been created with a purpose?  That Christ has come to give us abundant life? 

To fight this complacency, we need to go back to God's Word and remember His promises.  But not only remember them, we need to choose to believe them.  We need to pray for eyes to see where He's moving—big ways and small ways.  He is our God and our times are in His hands.

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

John 10:10 (NKJV) 

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands."

Psalm 138:8 (NIV)

Even though the day be laden
and my task dreary
and my strength small,
a song keeps singing
in my heart.
For I know that I am Thine.
I am part of Thee.
Thou art kin to me,
and all my times
are in Thy hand.

                                      Alistair Maclean


"I trust in Thee, O Lord,
  I say, Thou art my God.
My times are in Thy hand,
  my times are in Thy hand.


Blessed be the Lord,
  for He hath wondrously shown
His steadfast love to me,
  His steadfast love to me."
                                   Psalm 31:14-15, 21

(Prayer and Psalm taken from Celtic Daily Prayer)

Strength in Weakness

Don't let the birthday girl's cuteness fool you.  Not only is she cute, but she's a force to be reckoned with.  After catching some kind of flu from the church nursery or the playground last week, she successfully managed to take down five adults with her.  Bernie and I included.

I'll spare you the details, but yesterday we laid around our apartment all day, "sick" and "sicker" feeling weak and useless, with nothing to offer to anyone.  We couldn't even take care of each other since we were both in the same boat.  

This morning as we're still on the mend, I can't stop thinking about how this is how we are without God — weak, broken, and in need something far greater than ourselves.  On our own we will never be strong enough, but even in our weakest moments —physical, emotional, spiritual — our God remains incredibly strong.

Whatever it is you may be facing today, allow yourself the freedom to rely on His strength.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

1 Corinthians 12:9-10

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

(I know I've been posting this verse a lot lately, but it just keeps coming back up again and again.  Often, I think I need to be reminded of it every day.  )

A Friday Treat

Because today is Friday...

Because she's pretty cute...

Because I don't have my own babies to blog about...

Because she's my favorite niece...

Because God loves her, too...

AND because today is her 1st Birthday...

I give you this birthday post.  Happy Birthday Lulu Bug!  You are loved and adored by many!

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." 

Psalm 139:13-14

Where's The Love Ya'll?

  (I was torn between Hanson and The Black Eyed Peas for today's title, but in the end, The Black Eyed Peas won out, because let's be honest, in a battle of Hanson vs. The Black Eyed Peas, I'm pretty sure they always would.) 

"Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'  The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." 

Mark 12:28-31

Love God.  Love your neighbor.  Pretty simple right? 

My parents have been blessed with wonderful neighbors.  Right next door is a family who has loved, supported, and given freely to our family for over 15 years.  Through time, they have become some of our closest and dearest friends. 

I recently hosted a bridal shower with my mom and two hours before the shower, our neighbor came over to see if she could help.  She is extremely gifted with creativity, hospitality, and all things fabulous, so knowing that we're not exactly in her realm of talent, she could probably sense desperate when she saw it.

Within minutes, she was helping us make little sandwiches, bringing over her beautiful silver platters to use, and sharing her unbelievable flower arrangements.  It was as if a little fairy godmother had come by and transformed the table from pretty to exquisite. 

She is an easy neighbor to love, because she loves you back so deeply and so freely.  The way she loves our family has taught me a lot about listening to Jesus' command when He says we are called to love our nighbors as ourselves.

But what if they're not that easy to love?  What if they won't love you back?  What if everything in you wants to avoid them?  Well, that's a whole other story...

In our new apartment, I have been given a neighbor where everything in me wants to avoid, ignore, and not have to interact with her at all.  (There's that sin thing again.)

But the few times I have taken the time to talk to her, I see that she is desperate for love, support, and companionship.  She is a neighbor that God has put in my life to love.  To say to Him,  "Yes, Lord, I want to love you with all of my heart, but your children are important to me too!  Teach me to love my neighbor as myself, even the really hard ones."

(That can be a dangerous prayer, because He'll usually give you an opportunity to try it out, so beware.)


I don't think Jesus was only talking about our physical neighbors, although in my situation she is literally my neighbor.  In Luke 10, someone asks Jesus how one can inherit eternal life and Jesus has him quote the passage I included above about loving God and then our neighbors.  When the man inquires as to who our neighbor actually is, Jesus shares the parable of the Good Samaritan.  The man lying on the side of the road and the Samaritan who stops to help him weren't actual neighbors, but of the three that passed him along the road Jesus asks,

"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"      

The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."
      Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

Luke 10: 36-37

Not only are we called to love our God with every ounce of our being, but right up there with loving Him, He tells us to love our neighbors in the same way we would want to be loved.  That's how important it is to Him that we're loving His children—all of them, even the more difficult ones.

I think sometimes I try to convince myself that as long as I'm loving God and trying to make the first commandment work, I don't need to worry as much about the second one.  I know, I know...I'm way off. 

I freely admit that this is something that I fail at over and over again.  I fall short in loving my friends, my family, the neighbors I like, the neighbors I don't like, and the people in need that I pass by and encounter on a daily basis.  Loving other people is something that's really hard for me.  Usually because I'm too busy loving myself. 

Does anyone else struggle with this?  How can we love the harder people God has put in our lives?

One thing I've done with my new neighbor is confess it to my Bible study so they can be praying for me, challenging me, and holding me accountable.  Their love, grace, and encouragement has been such a gift.  It also helped for me to tell someone, so now it's even harder for me to ignore her, especially when they're always asking me about how she's doing and how I've been able to love her.  Their enthusiasm and prayer has helped to strengthen my sinful and weary heart. 

Ultimately I know this is nothing I'll be able to do on my own.  So today, I'm grateful for the power of prayer and God's free grace.  

 "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."  Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." 

John 21:16

 "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."

1 John 3:16-20

Lots of Links and a Psalm

(Random picture for a random post)

"To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God.  Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.  No one whose HOPE is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.  Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my HOPE is in you all day long."

Psalm 25:1-5

Amen! 

Today, my brain seems to be one big jumbled mess.  After proofreading one of Bernie's MBA applications, I can't get words like empirical observation, propensity, long-term professional goals, and entrepreneurial out of my head.  I'm just glad he's the one trying to go to business school and not me!  So, I have decided to link up to those whose words are far superior to mine—David via Psalm 25 above and links to my favorite blog candy of the week below:


Annie Downs shared a great story last week on (in)courage about how God is faithful to set the lonely in families.  

Similar to my post on Monday, Lysa Terkeurst wrote a great post yesterday about how a even a great husband makes a very poor god. 

One of my favorite design blogs, Nesting Place shares her Top 10 Biggest Decorating Mistakes.

Spring has sprung, and here you can read how Anna Kate Prum beautifully depicts her favorite things about spring.  

PLUS, you can also read about Josie's incredible 31x31 campaign for Little Lights.  She is the development leader with the heart, talent, and intelligence who far surpasses them all! 

And, if you're searching for the perfect pizza dough, look no further!  Eliza Joy Capps to the rescue!! 

Happy reading!!

Holding Out Hope

In my Bible study right now, we're reading a wonderful book called "Strong Women, Soft Hearts" by Paula Rinehart.  Oh my goodness, it is a treat.  I feel like in 4 chapters, I've gone through a year of therapy, and I only had to pay $10!

For any of you who read Angie Smith's blog, Bring The Rain her online book club is going to be starting this book too, so you might want to hop on over and check it out.  I think I'm going to do it simply because I'm a slow reader and have a hard time keeping up with book clubs, BUT for once I'll be ahead since I'm already reading it!  It might be fun to follow along with a Bible study, since they'll have videos and questions to go along with it.  Just a thought. 

Anyways, yesterday I was reading our chapter for the week and her words on hope practically jumped right off the page to me, "Hope that is pinned to God, rather than to people, has a buoyancy to it because it is grounded not in our own illusion of how our story should read, but in the character of God."

She talks about how often we're afraid to hope because we're afraid of losing, but she says, even if things don't work out the way we wanted—we don't get our dream job, we don't get accepted to our first choice grad school, we realize the boy we poured our heart out to isn't the one—"We dare not let go of our hope.  We stay alive to the possibility of encountering something really good, so that we can welcome it when it comes.  As David writes in the Psalms, 

'I would have despaired unless I had believed that 

I would see the goodness of the Lord 

In the land of the living'

(Psalm 27:13)

David expected to see the goodness of God in his life—at any possible moment, in the most unlikely situations, because good is simply how God is.  A sense of expectancy rooted in the goodness of God keeps hope alive." 

Isn't that amazing??

This weekend I listened to a testimony of a friend who unexpectedly lost her husband and was left with three children.  Soon after he died, she stood up at a Bible study and shared some of her story:

"Three weeks ago I lost my husband, but I'm here to tell you today that God is SO good."  She didn't deny that she was still in pain.  She described her heart as a crystal glass that has been dropped and the pieces scattered everywhere; you try to pick up all the pieces, but every few days, you step on another one.   She was shattered and broken, but said that God was slowly beginning to gather up the pieces of her splintered heart.  Yet, even in her pain, she could still see that God was good.  She proceeded to recount several stories of God's goodness over the last 18 months of her husband's life and how looking back, she could see different ways God was blessing them in their final days together as a family and lining things up before he died.  His death was not a good thing, but God still was.

I can't even imagine my heart being in a place like that during such loss, but to me she is an example of a woman whose hope was pinned to God, deeply rooted in His character, clinging to the promise that He is a good God, and a expecting to see His goodness appear at any moment.

I would have despaired unless I had believed that 

I would see the goodness of the Lord 

In the land of the living

Where are we placing our hope?

God doesn't promise to make our lives perfect or free from pain, but once again, He provides us with a very clear option:

"Hope that is pinned to God, rather than to people, has a buoyancy to it because it is grounded not in our own illusion of how our story should read, but in the character of God."

"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart."

Psalm 27:14

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope...O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption."   

Psalm 130:5, 7

Finding Happily Ever After

Growing up, I always thought that marriage was the end goal and once you were married, your life would be perfect.  I most definitely romanticized it and assumed that once you say "I do", your life is complete, all your decisions are figured out, and you can be fully secure for as long as you both shall live...

As much as I love being married, it didn't take me long to realize that's not necessarily the case.  When I was single,  it was hard enough trying to discern God's will for my own life, but now, learning how to merge two hearts and desires into one plan, isn't always easy.

And last Friday, we saw how I'm still just as insecure and needy as I've ever been.   To some extent, at times, I'm even more insecure than before.  The idea that one man has pledged to love me for better or for worse is wonderful, but I also feel a little pressure—what if I end up not being good enough?

I'm not trying to sound ungrateful, but my limited experience with marriage has shown me that the consistency and security I crave can ultimately only be found in God.  No matter what life stage I'm in, God is the one who satisfies. 

Whether we are single, dating, happily married, unhappily married, or divorced, who doesn't long for security?  Who doesn't long to be perfectly loved?

If we think that we can find that security and fulfillment in school, a job, a city, men, friends, or family, at some point, we'll end up being disappointed.  As great as those things can be and as much as they want to love us, eventually they will let us down.

What a joyful truth to know that in Christ we are perfectly loved.  Despite our insecurities, shortcomings, and failures, He. Loves. Us.

No matter what. 

Not only does He love us, but He strengthens us, He knows what we need, and He will never let us down.  No, not ever!

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope...O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption."   

Psalm 130:5, 7

 PS:  I'm on WomenSaveMoney.com this week talking with Carolyn Castleberry about managing money as a newlywed.  Click here if you want to take a peek.

PPS:  Tomorrow, I promise not to talk about marriage or boys...who needs them anyways? 

He Still Waits

 (Bernie, the summer before I reeled him in)

So, we already established a few weeks ago that I am definitely not a runner.  But now that spring is here, and the thirty feet of snow has melted, I'm slowly attempting to hop back into the runner's saddle.

Last Saturday, Bernie and I had the great idea of going on a run together.  Knowing that I would not be able to keep up, I suggested that we start out together and just meet back at the house when we finished.  Since our new apartment is right by a canal, we decided that was the perfect place to start out.

A note to all novice runners: Saturday morning on the canal is not for the faint of heart.  I've never seen more intense, hardcore people in my life—Bernie and I just blended right in...

We started out at a pretty even pace and then slowly Bernie kept inching further away from me.  Eventually, I had to take a little walking break, and once I did Bernie and his red shirt soon disappeared from my view.

Even though we had agreed to go at our own pace, I was surprised how emotional I got when I could no longer see Bernie.  I guess I just didn't want to feel left behind and I didn't like not being able to keep up.

As I kept slugging along, any time I saw a red t-shirt coming along, I thought, "Is that Bernie?  Is he coming back for me?"  Negative.  Just another intense, red shirted, hardcore person on their routine morning run. 

"It's fine."  I kept saying.  "I told him to run home.  Why would he come back?"

I moseyed along balancing my run/walk/run/walk routine when I realized I was approaching the boat house where I was supposed to turn off to go home.  Suddenly, in the distance, I saw a red shirt sitting on the grass by the trail.  Was that Bernie?  After about ten other runners turned out not to be Bernie, I didn't want to get my hopes up.  "Would he really wait for me?" I wondered.

On a side note, I wrote a post about a boy who waited for my friend here, but when it came to my relationship with Bernie, I was the one who waited.  Silently, patiently, for eight months, until Bernie finally decided on his own that making me his wife might not be such a bad idea.  Not sure why it took him a little longer, I'm clearly such a catch!

Anyways, I kept running along, trying to imagine Bernie in the apartment so I wouldn't be disappointed, when I finally was able to confirm that it was him—He waited!  (I assure you this had NOTHING to do with the fact the waiting spot was by a river that he likes to fish.  Nope, not in the least!)

Once I realized it was him, I pulled myself together and sprinted to the finish line.  He waited!

I had no idea that this little inaugural spring run would affect me the way that it did.  Maybe I was a little overly emotional that morning, but as I ran along, I came face to face with my insecurity, my neediness, and my desire to be accepted and loved.

But the most beautiful thing?  As I was winding down my run, feeling weak, inadequate, alone, and completely worn out, I pictured God waiting for me—lovingly, patiently, encouragingly, with His arms wide open.   

No matter how long it takes us to get there, or how many times we have to stop to walk along the way, our God is a God who waits patiently for us.  Even when we're so tired or worn down that we feel like we can't get there, he comes along side us and He carries us.

With God, we are loved, we are desired, and we are never alone.  May these truths ring in our hearts today!   

"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” 

Zephaniah 3:17

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."

Jeremiah 31:3 

He Will Always Love Us More

Long ago, far away in The District, when this blog originally started, the basic premise was to awaken our hearts to loving God more each day and fall deeper and deeper in love with Him. To tune out all the other expectations, and demands, and obey what Jesus called the first and greatest commandment: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." (Matthew 22:36)

Yet, as I continue on this journey of deeply desiring to love God more, one theme that continues to come up over and over again, is that He will always love me more.

Despite my best efforts, on my most "spiritual" days, I will never out love God.

It's a humbling realization and an extravagant gift all rolled into one. No one in the Universe is more worthy of love than our God, yet for some reason, He has chosen to love us unconditionally—even though we don't deserve it, and even though we can never fully repay Him.

This morning, I was sitting on my couch, trying to love God through prayer and worship when I just glanced down at my Bible and read Isaiah 40:11.

"He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm and carry them in His bosom."

Once again, He out loves me.  Today, I needed that reminder!

Maybe as a little girl, I overdosed on felt boards in Sunday school with pictures of Jesus, a staff, and a flock of sheep, but now it's rare that I reflect on the truth that God is my Shepherd. 

Despite our age, our circumstances, or our security/lack of security, we are all in need of a Shepherd.  Someone to take care of us, feed us, and carry us.  It's just another way God demonstrates His love for us.  He is faithful to take care of His flock.

The idea that God would gather us up and carry us is such a beautiful picture to me.  Even though I don't always readily admit it, some days, I just need to be picked up and carried.  Today was one of those mornings.  Consumed with failure, doubt, uncertainty, and anxiety, I needed once again to be reminded that I am loved—so dearly and perfectly loved.

He will always love us more—what a beautiful, life giving truth!  
 

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.  He restores my soul."

Psalm 23:1-3  

 

Listening To One

What do all of these even mean??

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all of the different methods of communication?  I mean, the great thing about technology right now is it's never been easier to stay connected — you can chat, text, tweet, blog, buzz, skype, facebook — the possibilities are endless!  There are so many great platforms for people to get their message across, weather it's something you want to hear or not.

I love Drew Barrymore's quote from the movie He's Just Not That Into You:

"I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.  It's exhausting."

I also love how now through YouTube, anyone can be a star!  Just look at Charlie and The Wedding Entrance Dance. 

Clearly, I'm into really deep, profound stuff...

I'm not discounting any of this, these can all be really great things.  At the same time, with all of the different voices I surround myself with on a daily basis, it's easy for me to completely miss the voice that is truly the most important:

“Come to me with your ears wide open.  Listen, and you will find life.  I will make an everlasting covenant with you.  I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David."

Isaiah 55:3 (New Living Translation)

Do you think if Jesus were alive today, he'd be on facebook?  Tweet me if you figure it out!

Loving What We Can't See

(I promise the little one above is not mine, but it is a miraculous, life giving, gift!)

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus from the dead.  Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance-an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay...You love him even though you have never seen him.  Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and rejoice with a glorious inexpressible joy."

1 Peter 1:3,8 (New Living Translation)

Through trials, uncertainty, triumph, and joy, God is always worthy of our love.  Though we've never seen Him, we love Him.  But how can we love something we've never seen?

That can be tough sometimes, especially if we feel like God's not listening, He's not responding, or He's not around.  I think this is why it's so easy to struggle with a wandering heart.  As a quick fix, it's easy to run after something we feel that will immediately love us back.  

But does it really love us back?  Will it die for us?  Will it offer us the hope of eternal life?  Does it fill us with a glorious inexpressible joy?  We might try to convince ourselves that it does, but does it really?

As my friends are slowly entering into the baby making stage, it's a beautiful thing to see the connection that develops between a mother and her unborn child from the minute she finds out she's pregnant.  She's never even seen the baby, but before it's the size of a little lentil bean, she is filled with hope, joy, and a devoted love for her child.      

She trusts that all of the nausea, exhaustion, discomfort, and pain is worth it because the result is something so beautiful.  So good.  So life giving.  

In Christ, we are a new creation.  In Him, we have a priceless inheritance.  In Him, we are filled with a glorious, inexpressible JOY!  Though we've never seen Him, we love Him, we trust Him, and we can be confident that He's worth it.  He has given us life! 

Worthy Of Love

Coming off of such a fabulous Easter weekend, I can't say I'm too excited to start off the week.  Lent has come and gone, Holy Week is over, and Easter has quickly passed us by.  Now what?

I am often guilty of having my faith revolve around holidays, but on this Monday following Easter, I am praying for a heart that refuses to let my faith die down and wait until the next big event.  No matter what day it is, God is good and He is worthy of our love.  

One of the beautiful things about God is that His power, His promises, and His presence are available to us year round.  On any given day of the year, His Word is true.  Each morning, His mercies are new.  Every single day, He is worthy of our love.  

So today, as I'm saddened that Easter is over, dreading the new work week, and feeling weighed down by a list of things to do and the uncertainty that looms; I'm trying to remember that God's love for me is constant and His promises are true.  Despite seasons, events, and circumstances, He is worthy of our love.       

"O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for you in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water."

Psalm 63:1

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

1 Corinthians 15:58