Growing up, I always thought that marriage was the end goal and once you were married, your life would be perfect. I most definitely romanticized it and assumed that once you say "I do", your life is complete, all your decisions are figured out, and you can be fully secure for as long as you both shall live...
As much as I love being married, it didn't take me long to realize that's not necessarily the case. When I was single, it was hard enough trying to discern God's will for my own life, but now, learning how to merge two hearts and desires into one plan, isn't always easy.
And last Friday, we saw how I'm still just as insecure and needy as I've ever been. To some extent, at times, I'm even more insecure than before. The idea that one man has pledged to love me for better or for worse is wonderful, but I also feel a little pressure—what if I end up not being good enough?
I'm not trying to sound ungrateful, but my limited experience with marriage has shown me that the consistency and security I crave can ultimately only be found in God. No matter what life stage I'm in, God is the one who satisfies.
Whether we are single, dating, happily married, unhappily married, or divorced, who doesn't long for security? Who doesn't long to be perfectly loved?
If we think that we can find that security and fulfillment in school, a job, a city, men, friends, or family, at some point, we'll end up being disappointed. As great as those things can be and as much as they want to love us, eventually they will let us down.
What a joyful truth to know that in Christ we are perfectly loved. Despite our insecurities, shortcomings, and failures, He. Loves. Us.
No matter what.
Not only does He love us, but He strengthens us, He knows what we need, and He will never let us down. No, not ever!
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope...O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption."
Psalm 130:5, 7
PS: I'm on WomenSaveMoney.com this week talking with Carolyn Castleberry about managing money as a newlywed. Click here if you want to take a peek.
PPS: Tomorrow, I promise not to talk about marriage or boys...who needs them anyways?
2 comments:
(hi! i'm one of meggie's friends from McLean Pres, and she forwarded me your post.)
i'm engaged now to be married in May (so soon!), and my fiance and i have had many a similar conversation to this post. i think this is also related very closely to God's plan for marriages to sanctify us. as we notice the idols of our heart - our dependence on our mates to meet every need and desire, our selfishness, our deep insecurities, our lack of trust in the Lord and his providence, and idolatry of our loves over the Lord, we see yet again that he is using these relationships to show us our sin and make us more like Christ.
i was just at a conference this weekend, and the speaker said, "remember God's ultimate goal is to make you more like Christ. some of you he'll call into marriage, so you can really see all your sin you may not have seen on your own."
it's kind of humorous when you think about it, but oh so true. i'm thankful for these moments of realization because it is surely the Lord calling us to remember his grace and truths.
I saw your post on Lysa TerKeurst's blog and am so thankful to have read your blog posting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and God's word. This is something that I have struggled with in my new marriage. It is very encouraging to know that I am not alone.
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