from Wait to Walk

Stand at the crossroads and look;

ask for the ancient paths,

ask where the good way is, and walk in it,

and you will find rest for your souls.

Jeremiah 6:16

I started writing this post on December 17 , 2008 and this morning I reread the verse followed by a few short phrases that have awaited expansion since that date:

Pray through decisions.

There are no regrets in Christ- He is in control. Move forward with him

Peace and Rest within his will.

Just yesterday I was talking with a friend who is at that crossroads and has no idea in which direction the Lord will take her. She is simply praying and waiting to hear from him. Not too long ago I was in the exact same position, asking where the good way is and looking and listening and waiting. Speaking with her I realized that I had not looked back recently to recognize and appreciate God's faithfulness. Ay de mi! I am unworthy!

At the time of starting this post I was in the middle of the crossroads and coming to the end of over 4 months of desperately asking God for direction. There were so many days when I questioned whether I was asking the right way or praying enough or listening hard enough to his voice. But it was all a matter of timing. Finally and suddenly (or, in God's perfect moment) I knew I should return to the States, not exactly sure how long I would be there or what I would be doing. I prayed fervently that every minute spent with family and friends would be well invested and that I would be productive throughout the months living Stateside.

I felt a little lost upon first returning but I now know without a doubt that God has brought me to the good way. I feel completely blessed and overjoyed. The immensity of his providence is so ornately accented with perfectly intimate blessings. The pace of my life is not slow by any means, but my soul has found rest in His will.

Jeremiah 29:12-14

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD...

Heavenly Father, I praise you for your timing and your sovereignty in all things. I want to seek you intensely every single day. I want to find you in all things. I pray for the complete renewal of my mind, that I may always be able to discern your will and walk in faith with you. Thank you for the still voice, thank you for always answering my prayers and thank you for loving me, not how I want to be loved, but rather how I need to be loved.

When Things Don't Go Your Way

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

Proverbs 16:3

Last week, Bernie and I packed up our bags and headed to Colorado for a wedding. I have been to spring weddings in Colorado before and the weather was sunny, warm, and beautiful. Excited for a weekend of celebrating with family and friends, I did what any girl would do, I didn’t check the weather and I packed all of my favorite party dresses and matching shoes—five pair to be exact, and yes, I still managed to carry my bag on the airplane and squeeze it in the overhead compartment. The night before we left, I even painted my toe nails and gave them a new top coat for extra shine.

Fast forward two days…Colorado was bamboozled by a fierce, nasty blizzard. At the end of April? Yes, at the end of April. There I was in Breckenridge, looking out the window as the snow came falling down, wondering exactly how I was going to maneuver my silk party dress and open toed, three inch heels, in four feet of snow.

Sometimes things don’t work out the way you plan them. Several months ago, Bernie and I were praying through some opportunities and for a brief time, all doors were pointing towards moving to Virginia Beach. I couldn’t believe it! After only six months of being married, I was actually going to move home and work for my “dream job”, and it wasn’t even my idea—it was Bernie’s! I was so close to getting “everything I ever wanted.”

Little did I know, as we continued to pray and ask God to open and close the right doors, all of the doors in Virginia Beach suddenly became tightly shut. The week I discovered Virginia Beach was no longer the obvious option, I was upset, discouraged, and so confused. Why would God do this to me?

The next morning, I opened up my Bible and quickly stumbled upon Proverbs 16:3, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” I felt the Lord whisper to my heart, “I have something better.”

Sometimes we get so set on our own vision and desires, that we miss the bigger picture. We make plans that we think are fabulous, but ultimately the Lord is in control and sometimes His path isn’t necessarily always our first choice. It might not be the way we would have chosen, but when you choose to follow God’s way, it’s always the best way.

We didn’t totally leave God out of this decision. For months we had been praying for God to lead the way, but the minute He led us in a different direction than I wanted, I realized I needed to let go of my plans, and surrender my will to His will. It might not have been the answer we wanted, but we prayed for open and closed doors, and God was faithful to answer our prayers—He closed the doors.

We are still waiting and praying for our “open door” but as we wait, we are confident that even though it might not be what we planned on, God is faithful and He has a plan for us.

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord endures forever—do not abandon the work of your hands.” Psalm 138:8

Lord, even when things don’t go the way we plan, teach us to trust that ultimately, You are in control, and You know our way.


Photo courtesy of the Associated Press

Loving God No Matter What

I realize it’s been quite a while since our last post. I’ve been in the midst of a transitional season, but hope to be posting more regularly, so stay tuned!

A lot of your know our friends Mary Elizabeth and Meade Stone. Nearly a year ago, they found out they were pregnant with twins. After a very long pregnancy, including nearly six months of bed rest, their beautiful boys, John and Warren were born on January 21st. Two days later, both boys began having seizures and the doctors were unsure what was happening.

Sadly, three and a half weeks later, precious Warren went to be with the Lord and was welcomed into heaven with open arms. At Warren’s memorial service, I was blown away by the incredible presence of the Lord, and the unwavering faith shown by his dedicated parents. In the midst of their extreme hardship, they were able to turn their eyes to Jesus and look to Him for the healing, peace, and comfort they desperately needed. On my drive back to Washington, I spent some quality time with my friend Anna Kate debriefing and discussing how unbelievably powerful Warren’s service was. I told her, I just kept sitting there thinking, “I need more of Jesus. Not only do I need more of Him, I so desperately want more of Him in my life.”

Their lives will never be the same they still ache for the loss of the son, but even though it was short, Warren’s life had incredible weight and eternal significance. During that service, hearts were drawn to the Lord in an indescribable way and God used Warren’s life to touch the lives of everyone there. Warren was made for eternity.

Currently, Mary Elizabeth and Meade continue to fight for their sweet John and continue to pray for a miracle. Mary Elizabeth has been so eloquently depicting this journey since the birth of her boys with powerful, Spirit filled updates. The Monday after Easter Sunday, she wrote an entry that moved me to tears. I can’t begin to do it justice, so I encourage you to visit it here. One of the lines that struck me was, “Pray we will love God simply for who He is rather than idolizing what He is able to do or what He does not seem to be doing. “

I couldn’t believe it. This aching mother’s heart was asking for prayers to simply love God for who He is. No matter what happens. In the midst of the grief, hardship, and despair, she wants them to love God. I can’t begin to imagine, but I’m once again reminded of the importance of loving our Father. Even when we don’t understand, we’re angry, discouraged, and upset, He is still worthy of our love and we have the ability to put our hope in Him.

On Wednesday, they posted a positive update, which is such a praise! Still, even though things are looking up for John, we can’t stop praying! They are fighting a spiritual battle and they need our prayers.

The Stone Family Easter Sunday

During this Easter, I was reminded again of the incredible HOPE that we have in Christ. At the end of each service at my church, we say together a Kenyan prayer:

"All of our problems, we send to the cross of Christ;
all of the our difficulties, we send to the cross of Christ;
all of the devil's works, we send to the cross of Christ;
and all of our hopes, we set on the risen Christ"

Alleluia, The Lord is Risen! He has conquered death and we are now are free to send our problems, difficulties, and the devil’s works directly to the cross, and place ALL of our hope on the Risen Christ!”

“And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God…And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured our his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:2,5

There is so much about life that I don’t understand. In the midst of all of the pain, unknown, and uncertainty, God is faithful to fulfill His promises and even when it’s hard to see, we can’t stop believing in Him. There is incredible Hope in the resurrection of our Savior. Even when we don’t know how, or why, He is worthy of our love. It’s okay if we don’t always feel it, but we need to pour out our hearts to Him and tell Him. No matter what are emotions may be, at the end of the day, God is faithful and even when we’re suffering, He loves us unconditionally.

I know I have a long way to go. Oh, how I desperately desire a heart that longs to love our Father more and more no matter what the surrounding circumstances may be.

Jesus, even when I don’t understand, It’s truly all about You. Give me a heart that daily longs for more and more of You. Despite my circumstances, I deeply desire to love you.